I try not to let other people's opinions outweigh my own. It's not so hard. But what other people think does have weight, and does carry the potential to heal or hurt. I wish I COULD be completely open. Actually, I'm not sure I do. I can't work like that, I can't hold my scars up to the light and dare others to judge me. And not because I'm ashamed of them or think its wrong. It's personal, private. And I think some things should be kept private or only shared with receptive people. I love my friends, but I've never felt able to talk to them about certain things, because inevitably they'll look at me differently, like I'm fucked up and twisted inside. I got so comfortable so fast with them, but there's very little hard conversation that happens. I don't think I've ever talked about how love hurts sometimes, and how pain can feel like love and how soft kisses are scarier than hard fucking and how sex isn't love and love isn't friendship and friends can get you through if they get through to you and why it's so important to be naked sometimes and show you're not afraid even when they're laughing and you're screaming inside.
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