INEFFABLE Lovers and haters, I recorded them. Beautiful songs and silent screams Flowed from my head to the paper I caught a summer sunrise and "penned" it down with words. When I met you, I had no doubt that I could tie you down as well with adjectives and clichés. But when we touched, the pen fell from my hand ashamed. THE BODY Just an anonymous body in space I could be Nobody, or Somebody, Or Anybody. I'm Nobody when nobody cares. I'm Somebody when you need somebody. I'm Anybody, when you scream "Is anybody there?" Just a body-shaped space among millions, but you can fill that space with your dreams---- and I'll be any body you want me to be. HEART BEAT Black is the color of no resistance, Fading to grey with a sigh of despair: The world is monochromatic. Emotions forced out by pain Sharp pangs or dull throbs Always present. It reminds us that we are alive---- Tears dropping on the absent shoulder. FLAME Why are moths drawn to fire? To them, it is everything ---- Life and death combined. Thrilling their senses by fluttering on the edge. Why am I drawn to you? To you, I am nothing. You could lift me with a smile… or kill me with a glance. And neither you nor the flame will notice our passing. STATE OF ACQUIESCENCE Falling. A hand reached out---- it was a mirage They're laughing at me Falling… From the vacuuum Into the void. I fall fast and slow Through wine and molasses Loosened rocks strike me from all directions A cacophony of silence gently assaults my closed and listening ears I look into my eyes then turn away No panic. No fear. FLUX Colors in motion Flowing, melding, changing Polychrome dancing Rainbow embrace Chords of emotion Screaming, crying, laughing Vacuous smiling Tear-stricken face LOVE Bird Flying, Flitting Teasing, Taunting me with its Promise Lazily spinning on breezes high above my reach Nesting on the highest branch, The only branch Sleeping… Stealing my peace Pushing insomnia down my throat Stealing my dreams, waking my nightmares Making them breathe WAKING Life is like stepping from a hot shower It feels so much colder after a momentary warmth. I think God is sadistic. He teases with rainbows and unicorns things that show how it should be, then slams us back to reality with pain and betrayal and loneliness and cold. Nothing is colder than a vacuum. The opposite of love rather than the absence of it. Or is the absence, and the emptiness worse? ANOTHER Hello? No one can hear me I'm trapped in this body dragging it with me wherever I go It muffles my voice The "head" is so thick, I have trouble hearing and the flesh so weary, My efforts are weak and ineffectual Only my eyes protrude so when I walk through crowds I watch the other bodies Looking for someone trapped like me Watching the bodies and looking for me HUMAN Sometimes I dream of life, of love of happiness. I can hear the voices, and feel the water surround me, and see these long, ungainly limbs merge in the surf. When I wake When I feel my hair limp on my shoulders, and the knives beneath my feet---- sand courses down my cheeks. NEVER Never let your feelings go Never love and let it show Never speak of what you know Never let them see you cry Never let them know you lie Never turn to say goodbye Never take a second chance Never give in to romance Never let the circumstance weaken you VIOLATED Pain Blinding, Shocking Running, Falling, Screaming This can't last… Pain TEMPORARY WARMTH The room upstairs The storm The bed The writhing, sliding smile The salt of sweat and tears The chill of separation PETITE MORTE Swallow Sinks Down Black Waves Wash Over Leaving Bleached Bones Behind BATTLE CRIES Lassie, hie thee home this night The stars, they burn sae fierce. Laddies, mount and ride to fight Lest gentle hearts they pierce. Mothers, hold thy wee bairns close Daughters, guard 'gainst fright, Sweet Jesu watch over you We'll not be home this night. Fathers, sons alike go forth O'er treacherous plain and field. With hope aflame in every breast With pride their weapons wield. Wives, bestill your beating hearts Swallow down your pain When men come marching home again---- Carrying the slain. A GIVEN MORTALITY Gallows the noose 'round my neck no waiver this time sickly green tendrils uncurl in my veins slowing… stopping. crescent moons open weeping blood. twin rivulets wax---- then wane. STOP Sometimes When I'm alone I try To stop my heart. It pumps the blood Through my eyes My heart Out of my wrists But it's never enough, The pain's never enough, And my heart is too strong. ROSES They appeared last spring, smiling and nodding in the wind. Their skin as soft as the newly budded roses. Everyone loved them, and praised them with their flower cousins. Summer came, and the roses bloomed and the children blossomed. They grew tall and strong and pink and healthy. Their beauty astonished the world and they were tended with kindness and admiration. Now in the turning of autumn, the roses hang withered on their stems and the old women sit ignored on their porches, remembering the past---- and waiting with trepidation for winter.
Short sensory bitsCLOSET The door swung open on its rusty hinges. The air displacement set off an immense cloud of dust. The only light came from a recessed skylight, and the dust motes came to life in that light, dancing and spinning away from a floor covered in papers and old magazines. The dust is one of the only things I remember. The shelves are the other: an entire wall of shelves next to the door, looming like a benign giant with millions of pockets, full of things for me to play with. The smallest held needles, nuts, bolts. Larger held yarn and felt. Larger still held how-to books and wood and glue. Largest I could never reach, but I always wondered what they contained. Guns, or music boxes, or old clothes, or merely piles of dust. There was a moth on the floor, quiet and still... but I knew that when I closed the door behind me, the moth would rise up like a wraith and dance with the dust motes in the fading sunlight.